Saturday, October 17, 2009

Tattoo!



For some of you, you were well aware that I would be going to get a tattoo yesterday, as I have been talking about it all week. (I was super-nervous/excited/scared)
I ended up driving to a smaller city that is about 3 hours from where I live to get it done, as I knew a couple people who got them done there before and they looked awesome. The tattoo took about 2 hours from the time the needle first punctered my delicate skin, to completion. It hurt.
For all of you people who have gotten tattoos and have been like 'Oh, it's not so bad...', I hate you. (Just kidding! But seriously.)

It felt like he was taking a scalpel and slowly slicing my skin into itty bitty pieces. Okay, maybe it was my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have chosen a spot that was partially on my ribcage, but hey! I wanted to choose when I showed it, and who saw it, and that is hard to do if it shows up every time you wear a tank top. This way, on my wedding day the only type of dress that is ruled out is halter top (which I have never looked good in anyway), because the rest will cover my tattoo.
The reason I chose this design (this is actually the tattoo artist's rendition of my own drawing), is that it is very symbolic for me. All through my life, I have struggled with this need to be perfect, to please everyone- even if people had conflicting viewpoints. I would put myself on a limb and work my ass off to make one person happy, and then when I finally manage to, I'd notice that someone else wasn't happy and start back-pedalling to try to make them happy too. This has caused me a great deal of stress and heartache in my life, and I know that I put way to much emphasis on what other people think, and not nearly enough on my think. So this tattoo was my stand against that, and my reminder to myself. No, not everyone agrees with me getting a tattoo, and it is quite a big deal for some people. But I did it anyway. And now the tattoo will be there every day, to remind me that it is what I think that is important - Every Rose Has its Thorns (I added the 's' because if there is only supposed to be one thing 'wrong with me' it will never work). No matter how much I put myself out there, and try to make everyone happy, at the end of the day it is about if I am happy. Maybe that's selfish. Maybe it's not. But it's where I stand, and hopefully I chose a solid spot, because this time the earth better not let go under my feet.

What do you think?



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